Anti-Bullying: Bullies Need to Learn Skilled Choices
Simply put, when a bully projects ill upon someone he/she is targeting, it is the same as throwing knots of tension onto someone. The knots of tension are stored up in the bully until the bully cannot hold the tension and discomfort of what lives inside, so a temporary bandaid relief is to throw that discomfort onto someone else. Then the bully sees the ill feelings in his victim/target and feels better that he/she is not the only one. It is a shared darkness. A bully does not have emotional intelligence developed in order to practice healthier choices in managing stress that has occurred in his/her life. It is an overwhelming feeling to have that stress build up to the point of boiling over. It is at that point it boils over to someone else.
A bully does not love her/himself, nor does a bully feel loved. The stress and negativity create a wall of separation.
Giving skills to bullies to use that energy in a way that will build self-love is a gift that is necessary to prevent further mishandling of his/her emotions. A bully does not have positive thoughts about him/herself so when the act of harming someone else’s feelings occurs, the thoughts manifest as an extension of what is inside the bully.
Those being bullied also need life skills to manage themselves in a positive way and not allow the bully to destroy their own self-worth.