Emotional Intelligence, Violence Prevention and Child Stress: Empowering Children Takes Time

“That was not a good choice to kick the train Claire was playing with, Grayson. Please share what you were feeling.” Silence. Head down. No response.

“I am not mad. I want you to understand why you made that choice and how you felt inside.”

“I didn’t feel anything.”

“Feelings are always there. Can you tell me where you felt something inside your body – an uncomfortable sensation?”

“In my feet.”

“Oh – so that is why you kicked the train?”

“Yeah because it was too close to me and was bothering me.”

“If you ask me for help or ask Claire to move it, you would have a better feeling inside. I am glad you are understanding what was going on inside you.”

About 30 min. lapsed. Claire was playing with a tractor that was really loud right next to Grayson who was using a pump to blow up balloons. I could tell he was getting agitated. His voice was so rewarding to hear, “Grandma, can you get Claire to move someplace else with the loud tractor because it is bothering me?”

“Oh, Grayson, right now my heart is so happy that you made such a wonderful choice and asked me for help instead of pushing the tractor or Claire. In fact, I want to reward you for making such a good choice. Please look in my eyes. I am SO proud of you!!!! Think of something special you would like to do or place to go with me.” His eyes got big as quarters with a smile plastered all over his face. “I want to do another sleepover and movie with you, Grandma!” “OK kiddo, we’ll figure it out on the calendar if it’s ok with your mom and dad and we’ll do it.”